1. If your friend bites their nails, cut their fingers off.
2. If your friend is an onigbese, bring all the people he owes money to beat him up.
He will learn his lesson when he’s in the hospital recovering.
3. If your friend sucks his/her thumb, cut off their thumbs.
No more thumbs to suck. Problem solved.
4. If your friend is in the habit of forgetting things easily, restore them to factory settings like this:
Wipe them slap.
5. If your friend is an ode (so sorry for you), try this:
Wipe them slap. Multiple times.
6. If your friend constantly picks his/her nose, cut their fingers off.
Or their nose. Any one works.
7. If you notice your friend sucking their tongue whenever they zone out, slice their tongue off.
8. Your friend eating too much candy? Poison them.
If they survive, they’ll learn.
9. If you’re friend is obsessed with social media and always looking at their phone when you hang out, smash their phone with a hammer.
They’ll thank you for unplugging them from “the system” and definitely won’t strangle you in a murderous rage.
I actually can’t think of a solution to this. Y’all should help me out