7 Guides To Living In Lagos 

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I compiled this list, as I sit here stirring through window of this old rickety Danfo (sighs), waiting endlessly for it to be filled up as quick as possible. These are quick guides to living in Lagos, as nobody wants to enter bus *mtcheew*

  1. Be Ready To Sweat: As unserious as it sounds, it’s almost like 5&6 with being a lagosian. There are days, when I’m dressed up and heading out, and I just become weak instantly, knowing that I’m gonna sweat before getting to my destination, because of traffic. I Pity the ladies the most… They become Dracula in broad daylight…
  2. The Fake Beggars: This ones annoy me every time! Always!!!.  I mean, they’ll come to you, while you’re jejely sitted on a Danfo and start giving you prayers you never knew exists. Prayers like “Bros you no go pour sand inside polybag send go home” and I was like Reallllly. In fact, I had to call Mum to explain it to me.
  3. Endless Traffic: This one in particular, is why you see most people walking hurriedly like the Pearly Gates of Heaven is about to be shut and are running to catch up. It has turned Lagosians into half sleepers, because they wanna beat the traffic which unfortunately, they might still arrive late at their place of work.
  4. No Change: The Conductors and drivers always shouting it like its their motto mtch. Even when you can count out your whole #350 change from his bundle of money. So, please when going out, please always, please, I’m begging you… Go out with spare little denominations, to avoid stories that touch or having to argue yeye argument, when you’re supposed to be rushing to your workplace.
  5. Follow Peace With All Men: This, goes to both Guys and ladies, but mostly ladies. I really feel their pain when at markets like Yaba, Ikeja and others. On one occasion, I was at Yaba and a trader (confirm Igbo boy) called a Lady “skkss Ello fine girl, con buy g’strings, na ya size, see am” at the same time putting it around her waist, and she turned and slapped “Bro.Emeka”. Before, she knew it, “Emeka” and his pepperdem gang started raining insults on poor Aunty. Sadly, She had to write a Peace Treaty to be free…
  6. Be At Alert: I don’t think you need to be told this… Them *spiders* are always roaming about, most especially at bustops. They are always pretending to be passengers meanwhile they are Ph.D certified pick pockets…
  7. Just Don’t Cross: Too many a times, people get caught by Lastma/Kai for crossing the main road and you start hearing pleadings likeplease Sir, I no see am on time To avoid such scenarios and disgrace, just kindly use the bridge, even tho some might be a bit far to where you’re actually going but,  USE IT, it will save you some stress… 


Yellow bases in Lagos traffic
Lagos traffic


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