He thought we're dating

But, I Thought We’re Dating?

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​I received the shock of my life yesterday, when  a friend told me, her close friend at work had accused her of trying to break up with him. Break up ke? Are we even dating? were we ever in a relationship?

Then it dawned on her that all those times he came around to hang out with her, drive her to work, clearance and back, see movies, play and gist, eat out, were because he assumed she was his geh-vren.

So I’m in a relationship, without knowing I’m in a relationship??? What a Waawu!👏

I'm shocked
I’m shocked

I actually felt for him, even in my ROTFL state. See innocent me that was just catching fun.

I relayed the story to a colleague and heard a more shocking one. She had become friends with a fine guy, and  thought they were dating. She would close from work and branch to the market, buy food stuffs and go to his house to cook. After eating In the night, Onku will press small brezz and they will knack. Then the next morning, she will go to work from there. This continued for three good years, and Onku didn’t propose. He was just chopping free food, and knacking free knack. So one day, she took a step of faith to ask him when he was coming to see her parents. Guess what???.

Onku said; “Parents ke? Boluwatife, you’re just like a younger sister to me o. I never saw you in that light. Actually. I’m engaged.” True definition of Yoruba Demon.

She broke down in tears, but later she had to come to terms with the sting of reality. Onku didn’t “Toast” her. They only met at the bank, and from there, their “frensheep” blossomed!😂😂😂

It was kinda funny sha, but I was pained as well. Younger sister ke? He didn’t even say “Just a friend”. Who dafuq knacks his younger sister? 👿

I thought we're dating

Helshadai!!!   You see ehn, there’s nothing as dangerous and annoying as an UNDEFINED relationship. Its crazy! You even get to feel foolish in the end. Never ever you assume you’re dating a person. Find the hell out!

Some ladies sef, ordinary “Hello Baby” inside DM Na wahala o. If the “dropper” is a crush, then eet eez finished! They will collect phone number, collect account number, state code, and house address. Before I finish quoting John 11:35, “Jesus Wept” they have traveled to see crush. For their mind, the dream man has arrived.

Abia! And when crush now finish crushing them like Dangote’s Trailer, they will now epp us to coman be corrupting the image of feminism. Mtcheew!

I’m not saying you can’t catch sparks online o. Noo! I’ve seen people who met their life partners via this platform. But ehn, use head na. At least be sure the feeling is mutual before anything. Not when you finish typing long letter of love profession, and Onku will now reply : “Kk”.  Rara! Ees nor laidat.

Bottom line:  If you’re currently assuming you’re in a relationship or dating, it is time to ask “How Far?”. Find out what exactly is going on between both of you, especially if its running into years.

Stop Assuming! Ask! Some gehs think asking “How far” will make them look desperate and cheap.

Bia… Aunty, as far as I’m concerned you are already cheap. You cannot be frying stew  and shining congo for years, with nothing tangible to show for it. Stop doing as if world people used your sense to exchange recharge card.

By the way, “How Far” Na question , no be proposal. Ask him; ” Onku, are you THE ONE, or should we look for another”?  Stop letting people monopolize your air space for nothing. Stop letting them be a canopy over your life. Don’t let them “browse your website” when they don’t have intentions of “downloading”.

The Earlier you commot them for road, activate your common sense and move on, the better for all of us.
Lemme come and be going.


  1. Lmao. I agree with you, it’s quite sad but true. I used to be really good friends with a dude, he’d call everyday, send me airtime, cash and gifts, sent good morning and good night texts faithfully, he was attentive, he was everything. Then one day I made a post about being single and he called me to express his shock. It was even more shocking for me because all those while, I had only taken him as a really good friend. I felt bad because I had wasted his time for two good years. Once again, I agree with you, nobody should stay in an undefined relationship, at least ask after like 3 months, just to make sure, ask the ‘what are we’ question.

  2. ???? this is hilarious! But also very sad sha, when I read the title I assumed it would be about guys playing with girls’ heads, I didn’t even expect it could be the other way round. Abeg you can’t dull oh, best ask wassup sharply before they use you to do #wastehis/hertime2017 ?

  3. ROTFL….what??
    But really, I think the mistakes is mostly on ladies sides because we just assume and continue to do wifey duties for some guy who only takes you as a friend or ‘younger sister’. It’s not a bad idea to ask the ‘what are we question’ to avoid stories that touch.

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