Wife material

The Wife Material Syndrome

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The wife material

The other day, there was no water in my hostel, so, I went outside to fetch. Now, I have very fragile bones, I can’t be messing with my arms, I decided it would be safer if I put the keg of water on my head (advantage of having a big head, shey?).

Well, I found someone and together, we balanced the keg on my head. Some dude saw me and sent me a message afterwards saying: Keji, you’re a wife material o. If it were to be other girls, they would be forming.
Me (feigning ignorance): what did Keji do o?

Him: I saw the way you put keg of water on your head nah

Me: In your mind now, you would be thinking you’re making sense o. Mtchew…

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Why does our society still justify a good wife qualities by the amount of suffering she passes through?
Ideally, with the level of civilization the world is experiencing, someone in Africa is thinking a woman is a better wife material because she can put keg of water on her head. Is suffering synonymous to being a wife?

A girl says she doesn’t like grinding stone, you shame her for it, a girl says she likes using washing machine, you shame her for it. A girl says she doesn’t like pounding yam, you shame her for it. You see, with my level of education and all the stress I am passing through in school right now just to be successful in life, if I cannot afford to make like easier for myself, if I cannot afford a blender, a washing machine, a pounding machine, then, I would be a disgrace to myself, to my family, and to my struggle!

I’ve read stories of how a man ‘tested’ his fiance by asking her to sleep in kitchen and she obeyed and he was convinced he could marry her… Oya, gbefun🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾… An argument was on on social media few weeks ago saying a woman that cannot cook soup with 500 naira is not a good wife material, so, I ask, how many of you men can build a duplex with 10,000 naira? Would you date dangote’s daughter and be testing her with Poverty? You see, some ladies know what they want in life, it is not pride, it is not gold digging, it is called standard. Test a rich lady with Poverty and watch her leave you, not everyone can cope with Poverty.

I have heard a pastor say if his son brings a lady home, he will pack all his dirty clothes outside and if the lady doesn’t come to wash them, his son will not marry her. In my mind, I was like, daddy, you will marry your son at last, sir. Whose daughter do you want to turn to your slave? Y’all want to be pampered and your egos massaged by ladies but you keep testing someone’s daughter with Poverty and ill treatment and expect her to stay with you. You will be alright at last.

Keep judging a good wife with how well she can absorb Poverty and suffering and Poverty and suffering will keep following you, since that is what you want.

Please, a good wife is someone who will love and support you not necessarily someone who can put up with Poverty and stress.

Yes, we know our mothers suffered, used grinding stones, went to the river, pounded yam and all. But this is the life of baby girls, we have the money and sense to make life comfortable for ourselves, stop shaming girls who seek comfort. Except you have the ambition to be poor, you should have no reason compulsorily searching for a lady who can cook soup with 500 naira.

– ADEBAKIN ITUNU

P.s: Post gotten from whatsapp as a BC

11 comments

  1. Worrrrrdddd!!!!

    Is being a good wife synonymous with suffering and looking like crazy? Million-dollar JAMB question!

    It’s ridiculous the things women are asked to subject themselves to just to prove they are good wives. She hand-washed; she’s a good wife. She used mortar and pestle to grind pepper; she’s a good wife. They’ve taken it a notch now – she gave our son many male children; she’s a good wife. She didn’t have her babies via a caesarean section and had NO EPIDURAL; she’s the best wife ever!

    Let me not even just continue. This post was just too apt.

    Smh.

      1. Lol. At all oh. Not even married yet. But it’s something I see all the time. In fact, the marriage of one of my favourite couples recently crashed and this phenomenon contributed to it.

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