Being angry with God

The Time I Was Angry With God 

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…Have you ever  been angry with God?

I was reading an article by NSG, when she talked about going to the bank to lodge  complaints for debiting her account of #5000 at the Atm without refunding back and on getting there she had encountered with people coming to transfer money in hundreds of dollars, withdrawing “Six million naira (only)”

She also recounted how she met beggars on her way to the bank, seeing children hawking, men begging “ejor ejor ejor” while on her way at Ikeja. She also recounted her mood trying to ask God for forgiveness for not being grateful for what she has… Here’s the link to the post: I cannot complain.

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Reading that post made me remember the time I was angry with God like a quick flash. Back then I couldn’t get anything to eat, I was practically living from hand to mouth being that I left my parents home from a very tender age. “On to hustling things“. Back when I distanced myself from any thing with the tag friendship. Childhood friends? I ran away from them, I felt the world was against me. I disliked the fact I was still breathing amidst all I was going through, many a times, I’ve had thoughts of suicide fill up my mind…  Thank God for God.

Typing this right now is making my eyes teary. I can vividly remember everything; the times I went to bed with an empty stomach that hadn’t eaten from morning, not like I knew what I was going to eat the next day.

But God never gave up on me. As I grew, I began to know more than I ever thought I should. Then God sent a totally set of new and distinct people into my life… People I’m forever grateful to God for putting them in my life. I regretted being angry with God, but I know he understood me back then I was still tender.

Now I know, what it means to have gone hungry with no hope of being the next minute. I’m glad I encountered that post. This is a part of my life, I’ve shut out to myself for a very long time, not talked about to babe, not even my parents. You know the “You’ve gotta make it someway, somehow no matter what” mindset.

God has been faithful ever since I knew him, same way as awesome. I think I should stop here before I break down. I don’t wanna drown in my tears tonight…

Thank God for giving me my best friend, my older friends which became much more than brothers to me. As in literally. If it was for name change, I could have done that a long time ago. lol. They are just… I don’t know what to say…

As for my best friend? I think I need to dedicate an entire post to him. He’s been more than I bargained for…

Dear friend, are you angry with God? you do have all rights to be angry with God. But have you spent a second to think… “It could have been worse”??? Think…

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And to think of it. I have my speaker connected to my phone via the aux and I’m playing music from my phone which is set on shuffle and through out this whole time of typing this post, it’s been shuffling between my gospel songs. Hmmm… God loves me truly. 😇.

Np: J.moss – Sweet Jesus. 

3 comments

  1. Loved this post, I’m sorry for the struggles that you faced, but we always hear that the struggles are there to shape us and mould us. However this is hard to swallow and accept when we’re actually going through the said struggles. I know you’re in a better place now, and will probably go to even greater heights.

    That song though! I love that part “Jesus jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus.. I looooove to praise your name.” Man, the way the singer put so much energy into the song, gives me shivers every time. I like to mime and whisper-shout along when I hear this song lol. You should also listen to “Bow Down & Worship Him” by Benjamin Dube.. i’m sure you’ve already heard it before anyway lol.

    1. Damn girl!!! That song played before Sweet Jesus. You sure seem to have a nice collection tho. As for the post… It’s much easier to hear than when we go through the struggles ourselves. I’m thankful the tables are turning now… Thanks for reaching out Amaka.

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