Whether a man is over 40 or in his 20s, he wants to find a true and meaningful love. He may enjoy the freedom of having many women to “sample from,” but ultimately, men are in search of “the one.” He may party like a frat-boy, and sleep around with a new woman every week, living like a tough guy, but underneath the fun times is a man curious to find the one woman he wants to share his life with.
Some men have had their heart broken and are afraid of having it hurt again. Some have been in long term relationships, but didn’t feel that the woman they were with would be the one to spend “forever after” with. Perhaps the man is new to love and likes to take things slow when it comes to opening his heart. But rest assured: men, like women, like children, like superheroes, all want to love and be loved.
I was having a conversation with my best friend, and it was all about the tough guy sh**. Our society has stereotyped us to grow with the sickening thought that “A man isn’t allowed to show he loves a woman”. He’s to be thick-skinned to love, shouldn’t show his love emotionally else he’d be seen as weak, inferior, not manly enough (yea, that’s the word).
Life is short, but the moments we make out of it is what makes it worth living. Love is a very, in fact the true definition of the phrase “A two-way street“. What’s the point being in a relationship when you don’t show you love your partner? pointless right??? So why the tough guy sh** stress biko?. Deep down the mind of every one is a little baby, wanting to be loved amidst their whole shortcomings and weakness.
How do players become players
Here’s my perspective of it… you wanna hear it abi? keep scrolling…
It starts off while growing up in primary school through to secondary school. You get laughed at because you sent a love letter to a girl. Especially if you are the shy one; you send it through your male pal who’s more closer to them girls. And there’s always a leakage somehow and it gets blown in the whole school if you are lucky then the class only.
He’s laughed at for writing a love letter, mocked and mimicked for using the lines “I can’t sleep without thinking of you” in all genuinity. He’s mocked as “lover boy” and from then on the young lad grows with the stigma of being seen as a weakling, seen as half a man.
Young lad grows on to want to overcome that stigma, but in other to do just that, he takes the wrong route. Carefully studying how that uncle Taju comes in with different girls day in day out in a cyclical nature. Young lad follows in his new found path, he gradually masters the craft. Now he can have whatever girl he wants, all he needs to do is to capitalize on the sweet weak nature of the feminine gender by sweet-talking the pretty damsel into thinking she has found the right man for her. And the cyclical nature continues.
The pretty damsel doesn’t know its a man’s world. She isn’t aware the average Tola, Obi, Bala is a wannabe player looking to graduate into the fake world of Tough guyism. Then after the hundredths of heartbreaks, pretty damsel starts believing all guys are scum and starts the “who runs the world? –Girls” charade… And it goes on and on and on… Now the good ones got to suffer for it. When you show you love, you are being seen as having a hidden agenda, a “he wants something from me”.
Surprisingly even the so called Players, wanna be loved. Every adult has a little child in him/her. We all just wanna be loved. But the society…